Umm, Sorry?

Bernie Madoff is sorry. Ashamed. His words.

Madoff, maybe the most appropriately-surnamed criminal in the history of the world, faces up to 150 years in prison for bilking a staggering amount of money from a staggering amount of investors in a staggeringly successful Ponzi scheme. He set a world's record for it, the historians say.

But he's sorry.

Sorry he got caught, I figure. Ashamed that he let down the Grifting Gods.

"Sorry" is what you say when you accidentally bump into someone's cart at the grocery store. Or hurt someone's feelings with a caustic, insensitive remark.

I'm not sure what the word is for systematically, and for years, robbing folks blind after gaining their trust, but it sure ain't "sorry."

I do know, however, two words for Madoff's apology.

If this was, at the same time, a fair and more barbaric society, Madoff would be handcuffed to his seat in the courtroom and every investor would be allowed thirty seconds with him.

Then, each would say, "Sorry."

I get a kick out of the apology from the white-collar criminal. At least the violent, murderous dude can actually, at times, call upon a genuine sense of remorse. Maybe he snapped. Maybe he killed someone he cared for, and truly regrets it. Maybe.

But the white-collar criminal? Their "sorry" is totally disingenuous, for they had plenty of time to realize that what they were doing was wrong. But they did it anyway.

Bernie Madoff was so sorry that he kept ripping folks off for years. Just think of what he'd have done if he had no remorse at all!

Of course, I'd still like to know where all the supposed financial watch dogs were when Madoff was doing his bidding. Joe Six-Pack inadvertently fudges a $200 deduction on his taxes and he has some 'splaining to do. Yet Madoff can, ahem, make off with billions, and it goes undetected?

Where's THAT "sorry"?

People -- and not dumb ones, either -- lost their nest eggs, their kids' college funds, and just plain life's savings thanks to Bernie Madoff's scheme. A carefully thought out, pre-meditated scheme. Madoff made a mint at the expense of cleaning others out.

But he's sorry. Ashamed.

Muck Fadoff.

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