Icky Dick

I long for the good old days.

When you could buy a pack of bubble gum cards for fifteen cents.

When The Three Stooges were on the tube at 4:00 in the afternoon.

When they pumped out Towne Club soda pop in those thin-as-wand bottles.

When Dick Cheney was holed up in an undisclosed location.

Ahh, those were the days.

Remember when we didn't know where Cheney was and didn't hear a peep out of him?

I can't believe that I once found that a fault.

Oh, to have those days return!

Cheney, the deposed vice president who is getting more TV face time lately than any, well, deposed vice president that I can remember, has moved past simply being annoying on my patience meter.

He's bordering on treason, if you ask me.

Cheney keeps going on TV--mainly on GOP-friendly outlets like Fox News where he's treated like royalty by the likes of Sean "Insanity" Hannity--and crabs about the new administration's foreign policy. Maybe he's there to defend torture. Sometimes he goes on in Chicken Little mode, trying to scare us to death.

I saw his mug on the tube last night, in a clip played from yet another interview with Hannity. In it, Cheney was discussing the weakness of President Obama, because he has the gall to suggest that if we get off our high horse and explore diplomacy with some of the world's ne'er-do-wells, then maybe folks won't hate us so much and we can make some progress in international relations. Instead of having to fight our way out of paper bags all the time.

Go away, now.

A quick word about Hannity, while I'm at it.

A couple days after the election, I saw Hannity on Fox, and he was having a discussion with the likes of Karl Rove and a couple other conservative wonks. But it was rather civil and the tone was non-incendiary for a change.

Hannity, rather humbly, said something like, "Hey, I hope Obama succeeds. I hope he's a good president. I'm going to give him some time."

Immediately, I sneered and said (to the TV, no joke), "Yeah, right, Sean! You'll be the first one, leading the way with the torches and the pitchforks. Who are you kidding?"

My words, I'm not paraphrasing.

Well, Sean hasn't disappointed. He's been ragging on The Big O almost since the inauguration. He may have started sooner, but I don't normally watch Fox, so I don't know when he started railing.

Cheney is being subversive. He's trying to undermine the new administration, which was elected rather handily, by the way. He's violating the honor code adhered to by other presidents and VPs who've barely left office, which says, "Shut up and go away, gracefully."

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who was about the best thing a goin' in the Bush Administration--certainly the classiest and smartest--went on Jay Leno last month and, without naming Cheney specifically, said that her brood had its time and now it's time to give the new brood a chance. She said it to cheers from the studio audience, but she wasn't pandering. She doesn't have to.

Rice indicated that, to do otherwise, isn't in the best interests of the country.

More cheers. From me.

Now allow me to do a self-interview.

Can Dick Cheney have an opinion? Of course.

Is it OK for him to express it publicly even though he holds no public office? Yes.

But should he stop? Yes!

Cheney said his piece--weeks and weeks ago. We all knew where he stood. Fine.

Now go away now.

It's funny that the most visible and audible of the conservative ideology consists of non-elected folks.

Rush Limbaugh.

Ann Coulter.

Newt Gingrich.

And, apparently, Dick Cheney, although many Republicans have told him, in so many words, to shut his pie hole.

Cheney is beginning to move into some very delicate turf now. The more he crabs, the more he undermines the current president with his bullying words, then the more he could potentially weaken our current policies, since the dissenting opinion is coming from a man who was vice president only three months or so ago.

Of course, many of those folks globally didn't care much for the USA under the Bush people, anyway.

The ironic thing is, vice presidents traditionally have been seen as irrelevant and mostly useless. While they were in office.

Now here comes Dick Cheney, former vice president, and he's doing his best to be as relevant as possible, with the aiding and abetting from Fox News.

But he's still useless. The sooner he understands that, the better.


  1. Thanks for ragging on Hannity. People complain about O'Reilly but at least he's a pro. He's entertaining. Hannity's just an ass. Would enjoy having ten minutes alone with him to permanently remove his smarmy expression. Hall


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