Tom DeLay is through as a lawmaker.
His political career cannot possibly continue. He's done, like dinner.
Grab the shovels and start pouring dirt over his metaphorical coffin.
DeLay, the former House Majority Leader, took his turn on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" last night and after viewing the two-and-a-half minute display, I can tell you that DeLay can never again run for political office.
I hope it was worth it.
We've elected a B-movie actor to the highest office in the world. A professional wrestler has become governor. Congress is filled with former entertainers and athletes. Same with city councils and state legislatures.
But after DeLay danced the cha cha with all the grace and finesse of a jackhammer last night, he can never again put a suit and tie on and act congressional.
It would be impossible to look at DeLay now with any degree of seriousness. He had his fun, which is fine, but it's a tit-for-tat thing.
Dance with the stars. Never show your face in Washington again.
Not that I'm complaining.
As a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, I rarely saw eye-to-eye with the Republican DeLay, as you could imagine. I found him to be churlish, smug, and a smart aleck. Not unlike most others in his party.
I think it's terrific if DeLay is fulfilling a dream and enjoying the heck out of himself as he tries to dance, no matter how much it makes you want to turn away. It's his life, after all.
But he's over with when it comes to politics. He can't recover from this one.
DeLay and partner Cheryl Burke, moments after DeLay ruined the cha cha forever
This is Ed Muskie and George Romney and Michael Dukakis and Gary Hart, all rolled into one. And then some.
Tom DeLay is SO an ex-lawmaker, it's not even funny.
Nor was his cha-cha-cha funny.
DeLay, dressed in a taco-brown, polyester suit, made moves and expressions I never want to see from a man of his age and stiffness, ever again.
He lip-synced---poorly---to the song "Wild Thing," and if that's all he did, that would have been bad enough. But then there was the dancing and the sliding across the floor and the air guitar playing and oh, would someone gouge my eyes out, please???
DeLay, in 150 seconds, bulk erased his career as a politician---as a staid, button-downed man of public service---and replaced it with that of your uncle Harry at the family reunion after one too many wine coolers.
It's over, Tom. Never again will you set foot into even the dog catcher's office.
If DeLay dared to run for anything, and if I was his opponent, I'd simply play his "Dancing with the Stars" performances as my political ads. I wouldn't even say anything. Just put up a graphic that says, "Can YOU take this man seriously?"
But hooray for Tom DeLay. He had the temerity and the guts to get out there and make a fool of himself in front of millions of Americans.
Come to think of it, that's not all that different from his days in Congress.
So maybe it wasn't such a leap, after all.