My Two Scents Worth

Geez, how stinky ARE our homes, anyway?

It's appearing that the technology propping up the air freshener industry is rivaling that of home security systems.

Just saw an ad on TV for a product that is equipped with motion detectors, so that when "traffic is heavier in the house"---or words to that effect---it knows when to spritz more of the smelly stuff into the air.


Several years ago, someone let the air freshener people off their leash and now they're running wild, developing one product after another in an effort that we should all, as law-abiding, non-stinky Americans, take offense to.

To me, it's like if someone offers you a mint.

Isn't there something subliminal about that?

I know there is, because I've been that person offering the mint, and I can tell you that there was definitely an ulterior motive in doing so!

So here's an entire industry offering us various ways to "freshen up" our homes. What are they trying to tell us?

It started with these "plug-in" things---little jobby-dos that you shove into an electrical socket. Then low voltage sends pretty scents wafting through the air. Not sure what happens during a power outage, though.

It's a double whammy: no electricity, AND potential household stench in the air!

The latest in air freshener technology: the motion detector spray

I come from an era where the fanciest we got with air fresheners was the wiggly, squishy, gelatin-like "solid" that would sit on a table top or kitchen counter, gradually wasting away until it resembled a crusty piece of food left in the back of the fridge.

Then they came out with "stick ups" --- discs backed with double-stick tape that you'd place in closets, cupboards, etc.

Fast forward to the 21st century.

Liquid fresheners, battery-powered, simmering away. Spritzy gadgets shooting a spray into the air every so often---usually plugged in and running on low current.

Not to mention the good, old-fashioned spray cans whose duty is usually to futilely mask the after effects of a putrid trip to the bathroom.

Now the motion detector item.

Just how smelly do these people think we are?

With all these gizmos and gadgets whirring away and motion detecting and spritzing and bubbling and wafting, there must be some homes of suckers in this country that smell like a citrusy, musky brothel.

I'm all for pleasant-smelling homes, don't get me wrong. Of course, to me, pleasant-smelling includes the scent of what we had for dinner that night.

But seems to me that an awful lot of science and technology and research and man hours are being spent on freshening the air in our homes.

They should sell those motion detector gadgets to Congress. Those things would be going off constantly.


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