(Note: every Friday I'll post a favorite rant from the archives)
from May 15, 2009
Time, once again, to show my age.
I tend to do that a lot here, I know.
So anyone under 30, turn away, unless you don't mind being subjected to yet another tale of yesteryear.
I miss the Twin Pines guy.
There. I said it.
He used to bring you milk, the Twin Pines guy did, and tons of other good stuff.
Laid it on your doorstep, and prior to that, put it in your milk chute.
Yeah, you read correctly, under-30-yearsers.
The milk chute.
Some homes still have them, though by now they're likely painted shut.
The brick ranches and tri-levels that sprang up in the late-1950s, early-1960s like mushrooms all had milk chutes built into them, just about.
Usually located on the side of the building, the chute was a two-way deal: it opened on the outside so the Twin Pines guy (or whomever delivered your milk and dairy) could fill it with goodies. And it opened from the inside of the house, so you could retrieve and place immediately into the fridge.
No, I didn't say icebox. I'm not that old.
So you filled out a paper form and left it for the Twin Pines guy. And he'd dutifully fill the order, often when your head was still on the pillow.
Like I said, not just milk.
Orange juice. Bread. Potato chips. Pickles.
He might have left a chili dog, too, if you'd have asked him.
The truck was shocking yellow, with green trim. The logo was, as you would guess, a couple of pine trees.
Twin Pines also had a mascot.
Milky the Clown.
Milky was a garishly-made up clown--and I know that sounds redundant--with a, well, milky-white face and some sort of weird-looking hat.
Come to think of it, he might have been the inspiration for the Joker makeup used on Cesar Romero in the old Batman TV series.
The picture pretty much says it all
Anyhow, Milky had himself a TV show in Detroit and he was played by a man named Clare Cummings.
I don't remember too much about the show, nor how successful Milky was in selling Twin Pines products.
I think I miss the idea of Twin Pines. The notion of a uniformed man delivering milk and other products to your doorstep, in the wee hours.
There's something out there now called Schwan's. They specialize in frozen food and it's actually quite good. We've been customers.
The Schwan's guy can't carry the Twin Pines guy's shoes, though.
First, Schwan's guy doesn't hit the road before dawn, like TP guy did.
Second, TP guy would take your empties away--your used milk bottles and the like.
Third, Schwan's guy is today and TP guy is yesterday and in my book, yesterday almost always beats today.
To those of you who remember Twin Pines, sorry for telling you stuff you already know.
To those who don't know what the heck I'm talking about, you missed out.
You should have been born earlier. Not my problem.