Oh, Miley!

Where will Miley Cyrus be five years from now?

You might think you don't care, but you should.

Where will Miley be, if she isn't annexing radio playlists, isn't an honorary owner of YouTube, or doesn't have her own TV show?

Where will she be if she hasn't yet launched a movie career, hasn't leased her name to a line of makeup, or hasn't come out with a book (or two)?

Where will Miley Cyrus be in five years if she hasn't found a nice young man, hasn't settled down a bit, or hasn't gotten involved with a charitable cause?

You might think you don't care.

But you should.

Cyrus is the just-turned-18 pop star who not that long ago was, simultaneously, cutesy Hannah Montana on television and spunky Miley Cyrus on stage, belting out songs that could barely be heard over the screams of the adolescent girls in the audience.

She was in her mid-teens, wholesome, and the daughter of a recording artist who should have been a beacon of guidance for her.

Now, Miley is 18 and she grinds instead of sways. She vamps instead of emotes. She pole dances and takes drugs out of bongs and her performances are almost becoming off-limits to her original audience because if the MPAA saw them, they'd slap an R-rating on them.

To make matters worse, her parents are now divorced and her father has already put his hands in the air in surrender.

OK, so why should you care?

Whether you have children or not, and whether those children are at or near their teen years or not, and whether those children are female or not, you should care because what's happening with Miley Cyrus is wrong. Simple as that.

I thought we had a chance with Miley. I thought she was going to be better than some of the female pop acts who came before her---the ones who went from precious to precocious to luscious in less than 60 seconds.

I thought that, with a father who's in the business and who knows the pitfalls, Miley would have at least one parent who'd steer her in the right direction.

I thought the sweet, fresh Hannah Montana alter ego was more than just a character on TV---I thought it was a fairly close resemblance to the girl portraying her.

But now Miley is transforming, like one of those hideous scenes from a horror movie. The kind you hate to watch yet can't tear yourself away from, in spite of yourself.

The dancing on stage has gotten more sultry. The wardrobe has gotten more slutty. The teenager wants to be Madonna, or a call girl. I can't decide.

The latest is that she was caught on video recently smoking a hallucinogenic herb through a bong---a video in which she was seen laughing uncontrollably, making nonsensical, guttural noises, and purporting to see images of her ex-boyfriend.

After the video was sprung onto the Internet, Miley's father, Billy Ray Cyrus, said (paraphrasing), "Very sad...I'm seeing this for the first time...There's so much out of my control now."

I'm sorry, but when your daughter is going sideways like this, you MAKE it under your control.

Miley Cyrus recently (above)---a far cry from her wholesome days of not-so-long-ago (below)

I fear for Miley Cyrus. Her parents split up right when she needs stability at home the most.

It's so hard for some of these female teen pop stars to make the transition from adolescent to adult, smoothly.

For whatever reason, so many of them want to turn their backs on the very audience that made them filthy rich.

Miley Cyrus, in that bong video, was essentially saying, "I'm done with you kiddies now. I made my money off your backs but I don't need you anymore, so the hell with you."

If you think that's quite a leap to make, you're wrong, with all due respect.

Miley clearly has no allegiance to or regard for the hundreds of thousands of young girls who adore her. To Miley, they're old news. Time to be grown up now, i.e. take drugs, slither on stage like a sexpot, and go for a new audience---the 18-45 year old male.

Seems like it was just yesterday that Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana, and girls had her poster on their bedroom walls.

Now Miley seems to think that she's outgrown Hannah, and instead of being on the walls of young girls' bedrooms, she aims to be downloaded onto the computers of lecherous men.

Still think you shouldn't care?


  1. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.


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